Weird hip-hop-related dream last night

Definitely should be mentioned on another remix of Jada's "Why?"

I won’t be making it a habit of sharing my deepest, innermost thoughts with the world but this was truly such a bizarre dream that I had to divulge:

Fat Joe. Muthaphckin Fat Joe, the elephant in the sand, the dude that can’t lean forward again after leaning back, the desecrator of Big Pun’s legacy, the guy who looks vaguely like one of my less-loved (straight-up) uncles.

So Fat Joe asks me for a ride to my alma mater, UCLA, to catch a show.

Scarface’s Retirement Home*

It looks like Brad Jordan’s post-career paradise of choice is sunny San Diego in the little town of Clairemont. After re-christening the senior home with his “Emeritus” stamp some weeks ago, Brad Jordan announced a city-wide moratorium on snitches to the local press and has vowed to spend the rest of his life enforcing his balls and his word. Mr. Scarface has been seen patrolling the streets in his modified segue, which he has dubbed the FACE MOBile, in constant pursuit of snitches, bitches, and anyone with general rodentine features. When he’s not running the streets, the rapper formerly known as Akshun can often be found down on Convoy St., enjoying a nice hot bowl of Vietnamese pho or making Asian bitches hit the high notes at Super Karoake. When I caught up with ‘Face at Green Tea House and inquired towards his favorite boba drink, he had this to say: “Fuck you, you bitch nigga midget faggot.” Sho nuff.

*Swagger-jacked from Fat Lace.

2008 in Review: Albums Good Enough To Buy

It’s about that time. I remember last year, I struggled epicly to listen to a bunch of albums that were supposed to be any good to crank out a definitive “Best of” list that wasn’t at all definitive because I tried jamming like 20 new albums into my brain in the span of a couple weeks and it resulted in me melting my face off. And it wasn’t really worth it because as time went on, I realized I really only held on to a few of those records this next year. So in the interest of conciseness and honesty, I haven’t compiled a Top Ten for either songs or albums. These are merely some great albums from 2008 that I’m confident I’ll be bumping well into 2009. In no particular order, except as I remember them, which I guess is a loose order for how memorable they are. Unveiling after the jump ……

Scarface The Rapper Did More Than Scarface The Movie To Me

And opposite the atrocities spawning from G.O.O.D Music, Scarface stays producing music that’s actually good. His new album, Emeritus, is to be the last in a long and illustrious career, but you wouldn’t know it from listening to it. As opposed to, say, Jay-Z’s Black Album, he doesn’t spend the majority of the album beating you over the head with the fact that it’s his last album and the fact that he’s changed the game and that he’s the greatest that ever did it. Instead, Scarface gives us another very unassuming Scarface album, another 14 tracks of the same ghetto philosophy and moral anguish wrapped in an exterior of gangsta rap posturing that got him to where he’s at now. He doesn’t spend much time telling you he’s the shit because he’s too busy showing you what makes him the shit.